Real life isn't a movie

Don't all girls wish they could find the man in the romantic movie? The one who says just the right things, does the right things and looks great?
I wonder why guys dislike these movies but then I think about it: does the movie man ever get his romance? Does he get his guy time and space? Not usually.
So aside from not watching these movies, in order to keep your expectations realistic, how do you deal with these mixed emotions? How do you sway so much to a movie man but sometimes lose interesting in the one you've been married to for 5 years?
I think it's communication and giving yourself. And I know I agree with all the talk methods and set times and ways to carry on discussions, but I'm married to a man who doesn't care for all the structure. What works for us is just to talk. To be open with each other. To be point blank and obvious.
It can take awhile for me to come around. After a few weeks of feeling let down romantically, I just give in to my bitterness. I sit around angry and bitter that he can't figure out how to make me happy. And then it hits me. First, what am I doing for him? He's not in the mood for giving because I'm not in the mood for giving. It quickly, all too quickly, becomes a downward spiral. Second, have I just come out and said it? I'm so lucky to be married to a patient and understanding man. I finally took my feelings to him. I told him I felt overworked and under appreciated and I was bitter. Then I took a deep breath and gave him some ideas. Bring home flowers, find a song that has romantic lyrics and tell me it makes you think of me, help with the dishes or toys. And before I sat back waiting, I asked what I could for him.
So he helped out more immediately. I put into action things he wanted and needed. And I got my romantic song.
And I'm swooning again. This time over the romantic man I married, not that movie man.
As women, we can't sit around whining and wishing. Love takes work on BOTH sides. And it takes communication. The movie man has many writers telling him just what to say and do. Your real man needs you to give him a few suggestions. Then listen to his too. Pretty soon you'll be giving more, he'll be giving more and you'll be in a perpetual UPward spiral.
And turn off that romantic movie. That guy just doesn't exist. Love the one in front of you, he's wonderful in His perfect way.

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